The only voice I can hear in my head is my vegetarian friend’s voice saying, “Do you need to enjoy a cheeseburger, at every meal, everyday?”  The cheeseburger in this instance is a metaphor for incredibly tasty food in general.  I generally don’t indulge like that, even on a bad day I have bacon for breakfast, steak burrito for lunch, then pork chops for dinner.  But that’s on one of those “bad” days.  But I  understood what he meant.  Even on the days I eat oatmeal for breakfast, a turkey sandwich for lunch, and chicken breast for dinner, I could still use more balance in my diet.

I’m in my mid-30s and I’ve spent the last few years in NYC trying to eat at every ethnic slop house, street cart, french restaurant, bistro, Italian, hip new restaurant, etc. and I think it’s high tide I start slowing down.  Now I’m not going to stop eating at any of those places.

What I want is balance.  The bike, that’s going to help with physical aspect.  Now my diet, it’s going to be a bit more complicated than that.  I don’t ever intend to give up:

Steak “the meat of champions”
Fried Chicken “forbidden edible scepter”
Wings (nothing further to note)
Ribs  [see above]
Bacon, I want to cuddle you before I go to sleep
Meat and bread “best briefcase for meat on the go”
-tacos
-cheeesesteak
-gyros
-Heros, Subs, Grinders, love them all!
-hot dogs (esp. flint’s coney dog)
etc.

Let’s not forget Hamburgers.  Love them, Love them to death.  I’m not sure if they’d be my last meal (It’d be in a fight with Steak for sure) but man, I love them.

I bet now you’re like, “this guy is crazy.  He just spent two paragraphs writing about how much he loves meat.  I feel tricked.  I’m going to get Big Mac to show him how defiant I am!”

No no no, you see, I want balance.  If I eat a cheeseburger (one of the worst on the list), I’ll need to do some biking the next day and eat some vegetarian dishes for the next day or two to make up for it.  It all depends on the infraction.  Eating pasta with chicken breast is bad, but more bad because of the carbs.  That’ll just require some biking or perhaps next time eating it for lunch and lightening up my dinner.

The point is, the people that I grew up with are getting sicker these days.  They adhere to the whole, “nothing can stop me” attitude that was carried from their teenage years into their adult life.  I’m not sure when I’ll be a father (hopefully sooner than later) but I don’t want to be the dad wasting away on the couch.  I want to be active and do things and not have to pop a vicodin to make it through my day.  I want to wake up and take on the day.

Cons of the article:  Maybe next time I write a blog post I’ll actually write one about vegetarianism or at least a bike article.  Time to sleep.

2006:  Here I am, walking through Clinton Hill/Bed Stuy.  My tourguide, Sebastian, wanted to show me the lovely sculptures the school had erected in the courtyard.  We walked over to the Pratt institute and stopped before the school commissioned works of art.  He shows me some random squiggly lines and other nonsensical structures sitting there.  Before I could say something witty or intelligent as my naive tourist mind was filled with awe due to being in the big city for the first time, Sebastian decided to put forth his thoughts on them, and explain the meaning of it:

“This is all a bunch of bullshit.  These artsy assholes here will give someone a perfect grade for twisting two metal wires together then putting it in an old soup can, but the art of painting an anatomically correct woman has lost respect from the professors here and it is now considered an obsolete art form.  They want art with meaning, but what do big metal squiggly line structures really mean?  It’s just bullshit.”

It’s paraphrased.  But the idea is the same.  He felt the school wasn’t the right direction for him to become the artist he wants to be.  We walked by some guys with brown bagging some beer and headed to this another neighborhood coming up.  The best way to describe this is area is you don’t want to be caught alone here at midnight.  Buildings bordered up, young adults loitering on the corner with brown bag beer. Not a bank in sight, just check cashing and beer stores.

I know Flint, MI is worse, but even in Flint I know where to go and where to stay away from.  Here I’m naked to everything.  We finally get to this small strip of coffee shops and bagel places.  He’s like “this” is Williamsburg.  I looked around with him, then I said, “nice graffiti.”  There wasn’t much there.  Old 1960s type buildings, the non-brick types.  It had a great view of the city though.  There was maybe a bar and a restaurant.  But generally it seemed like everywhere else.  The L stop was near but I didn’t know what each train stop it was.  The dollar I spent for metro map was a rip off, especially when I found out later on that it’s actually free.

Words of wisdom flowed through his mouth again:  “All the arty douchebags live here, lets go to the city, fuck Williamsburg.”

2012:  Here I am 6 years later.  Sebastian is on a long short-term vacation (maybe 1 to 2 years).  I have a girlfriend that can actually put up with my insomnia and my love for coffee, gadgets, music, videogames, and other things.  Williamsburg is now a very nice place to live.  The hipsters themselves are starting to get priced out.  The character of the neighborhood has been through some changes.  It went from being the place to live if you can’t afford the LES (Lower East Side, Manhattan), to the place you have to move from because East Williamsburg prices are better (bordering Bushwick).  It’s a nice place.  The bars are more diverse than they used to be.  Hipsters are still abound, but it’s bloody apparent, many of them had to move on (maybe they got jobs!)

Pratt Institute:  I decided to re-walk the tour I did with Sebastian all those years ago.  Nothing going on.  The sculptures/structures are still there, what’s new is the condos and renovations.  It’s turned into a quiet neighborhood.  Quiet with a bar/restaurant/ or a coffee shop nestled in the middle of block here and there.  Clinton Hill is actually a small area, but it’s close to Bed Stuy.  I think realtors are trying to annex Bed Stuy into the other side of Clinton Hill or as I’ve heard Stuyvesant Heights.  Seems all those hooligan rappers ruined the good name of Bed Stuy for them [ed. this was sarcasm, Bed Stuy was a result of Urban Decay and neglect.]

This isn’t the first time it’s happened in New York.  Google South Slope/Gowanus/Tribeca/Noho etc.  Although I’m opposed to this practice of renaming neighborhood so realtors can move in the yuppies or Manhattanites into a new exciting neighborhood, I mean who wouldn’t want to save some money from the ridiculous prices in Manhattan? But besides the gentrification aspect, they’re also pricing out people like my girlfriend and I in regular neighborhoods that we’ve been working towards so we can be closer to things to restaurants and bars that appeal to us, plus it’d be nice to not have to sit in a train for 1 hour to get home from work.  We would’ve been able to afford a Park Slope apartment a few years ago, now it’s too ridiculous to even ask.

Anyway, back to Bed Stuy, I have a chance to move into a nice sized apartment there for well under the prices I would’ve paid elsewhere.  I can’t get mad at the condos being built here.  Now the city and neighborhood have an investment to protect.  Buildings get sold, bad people get moved out … as do a lot of good people (ask Harlem), then working class people like us have a decent place to live at.  I want to live close by my work and live in a nice neighborhood and not have money left over to save, buy groceries, and go out to eat/drink on occasion?  Am I wrong?  Is wanting a normal life too much to ask for?  Will the locals start throwing things at me and calling me hipster on my walk to work?

What do you think?

I suppose the theme of this blog should change to encompass everything and anything in my life.  I guess I’m better suited for the editorial style type writings and that’s fine with me.  I’ll still write about my hobbies such as videogames, audio, and gadgets, but I feel I should include more things in my life such as the wonderful city of Brooklyn that I live in, social commentaries, and … cats … (ok, don’t know about that last one).

Now if only I could figure out how to redesign this blog.

Once again, living my life according to movies has continued to hinder my progress as a human being and upstanding citizen.  I thought by 2001 we’d have flying cars, awesome space ships, evil computers, and the space baby to deal with.  Due to these admittedly naive thoughts, I’ve rediscovered why I love the 3rd Generation iPod so much.

Now before you stand up and degree that I’m one of those people afraid of the continued progression of technology and such (otherwise known as a Luddite), I would like to explain that my reasons for loving this “old” device is on a completely aesthetic basis.

I definitely when the engineers when to redesign the iPod of the time, they had just got done re-watching 2001: A Space Odyssey for the 100th time, because this is something Dr. David Bowman would’ve been using while taking a break from performing his duties on the Discovery One.

My curiosity for a connection grew and came across some information on Wikipedia which referenced me to a Wired article stating that the name iPod was definitely inspired by the movie when it came to naming it the iPod.

The name iPod was proposed by Vinnie Chieco, a freelance copywriter, who (with others) was called by Apple to figure out how to introduce the new player to the public. After Chieco saw a prototype, he thought of the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey and the phrase “Open the pod bay door, Hal!”, which refers to the white EVA Pods of the Discovery One spaceship.

The 3rd Gen iPod is an orgy of white and red, a color motif thoroughly present on the sets used on the movie.  Stanley Kubrick was a master of his art.  You could freeze frame the movie at numerous points and create a beautiful photograph from it.

I am a bit disappointed that the current Classic lineup evolved to become so boring and lifeless.  In fact, it seems like the only product Apple’s lineup that still has the “pure” white plastic look is the white Macbook.  It somehow survived the aluminum revolution that Apple has been using since the introduction of the original iPhone.

Now I’m not against the durability and supposed eco-friendliness of aluminum.  I know they used some white plastic on their 3G iPhones, but it lacked the flair of their earlier products.  I also want to state that I love my iPhone 4, iOS4, and the touch screen UI.  I’m not knocking what Apple has become as a I company, this is more of a love letter to a great design.

As I type this, the 3rd Gen iPod is sitting right next to me.  It truly is one sexy beast.  Besides the red backlit buttons, the wheel in slightly indented, giving it a very clean and futuristic look.  Combine that with the blue backlit display, nice contoured sides, and this becomes one hell of a looker.  Now I know I might be looking at this nostalgic tinted glasses.

I’m not blind.

It’s big and clunky, not to mention it’s rocking a black and white LCD screen and speaking of which, let’s not even get started on how outdated the technology became in 2 generations (quieter drives, the click wheel, smaller size, color LCD, etc.)  But like any good design, you can look past the flaws and respect how timeless it still is.

Ok, I messed up, BIG TIME.  I don’t know why I assumed 16GB would be enough for me.  Probably because my 16GB 3G had a good 8GB left of free space for most of it’s life with me.  I just thought to myself that I could spend the next two years on this contract packing in 8GB then calling it day in two year when according to Johnny Mnemonic, I’ll be storing 80GB in my head (160 if I use a doubler).  But that’s neither here nor there, I failed to take a few things into account.

Having that 5GB left made me sweat because:

A) The apps seemed to have grown in file size now, probably to take advantage of the beefier processor in this phone.

B) I’m taking videos everywhere like an idiot.  I’m going to add videoblog snippets to my posts eventually.  I need to stop following my girlfriend around the apartment, annoying her to no end, and instead focus on making relevant videos.

I know, I know, you’re probably saying, “Why don’t you just rotate and delete files?”  You see, I’m at the ripe old age of 33 where things like that drive me crazy.  I like to have all my pics and vids on hand, in case I see someone I know and say, “Hey, check out this vid where my buddy Sebastian reviews Eat, Pray, Love. I’m crazy like that.  Speaking of:

In conclusion, the future of Johnny Mnemonic’s world is probably only 2 years away (even though the writers wrongly predicted 2021) and I’m too impatient to wait.  For right now, I feel comfortable knowing by this time tomorrow, I’ll be able to record video and download apps without worrying about space.  AT&T overnighted me a 32GB phone and then I’ll be sending back the 16GB, both ways on their dime.  I can’t ask for anything better to be honest.

Playing games on your phone looks nothing as douchey as these hipster models hanging out, "Hey you on the right! Yeah you. Nice "punk" bracelet!"

Mobile gaming … sigh, it seems like it was just yesterday when I downloaded a game off my Nokia 6800 and said to myself, “WOW, what a piece of shit!”  It made first generation Gameboy games look like works of art (trust me, if we’re not talking Tetris, then you know what I mean). Then it seemed like 4 years went by with nothing going on.  Apparently a handful of the games that were based on the N-Gage platform turned out to be decent, but my phone couldn’t handle it so I never bothered.  As I put the phone in the my holster, I felt disgusted with the cost, the time it took to download, and the horrible quality of these mobile games.  Not to mention the difficulty in playing games with a cell phone keyboard.  I’m not even sure it recognized simultaneous button presses.

I never thought in a lifetime I’d come back to gaming on a phone.  Well, I don’t sigh when I think of mobile gaming now.  I thought we were going to be subjected to horrible software priced through the roof (i.e. Nokia, Verizon, etc.)  But here I am.  Playing on a touch screen no less.  I just spent 20 bucks this past week on some badass games, or time wasters as my buddy likes to call them and I don’t regret it one bit.  Apple changed the game for the better and there’s always something to play for everyone.  Although the App Store through the iPhone wasn’t the first of it’s kind, it did things right like Nokia and Verizon should have.  I think it succeeded because the games are aimed toward the casual crowd and the touch screen makes the lack of a control pad bearable.  I didn’t think it would work, but after owning an iPhone for nearly 2 years (I’m on my second one now), I’ve finally succumbed to the evil clutches of Apple!

I’m not sure how often I’ll be making these entries, but if the games keep coming as they have been so far, then so will my dollars.

Now for the mini-reviews:

Plants vs. Zombies ($2.99, Pop Cap Games)

I never really get into tower defense games.  I play them here and there and forget about them in a week.  If I was asked to spontaneously name my favorite games (quick: Chrono Trigger, Street Fighter 3s, Battle Garegga, River City Ransom, etc.), none would be a tower defense game.  So it comes with a great shock and much pleasure that I’ve been head-over-heels in love with Plants vs. Zombies.  This game has charm and character and it’s a great deal of fun.  I’m just as sick as everyone else with this whole “zombies in videogames” fad but in this instance, they’ve put together a great game.

These guys want to kick your ass and eat your brains.

Who would’ve thought pitting plants against zombies would turn out to be so fun?  The gameplay is pretty standard fare but with a horticulture theme (did I just type that?)  Basically it works like this:  you plant plants each with a different set of attacks and defense.  They in turn protect your house (castle) against waves upon wave of zombies who are trying to infiltrate.  As you move up in levels, different variables are introduced such as more powerful zombies, limited ways to get power ups, etc.  They even mix it up with bowling and wack-a-mole type stages.  I’m not sure when it ends (I’m intentionally trying to take my time), but if it were to end at the point I’m at right now, I’d still say it’s worth 2.99.

Crazy Dave thinks you should totally buy this game.

Do-Don-Pachi Dai-Fukkatsu and ESPGaluda II ($8.99 each, Cave Co., Ltd)

It might be a bit unfair to lump these two into one mini-review, but I don’t think breaking down the different gameplay points would matter much in a quick review like this.  I know earlier I said these games are great for that “casual” gamer who wants to spend time messing with his phone on the subway or bad movie with this wife/gf but even these niche games are easy to play for the casual gamer in us all.  I’m not going to lie, I’m a shmup fan.  I love tough as nails games that I might someday beat.  But really, anyone can get into these games and it’s crazy that the iPhone can handle them and be very playable at the same time.

DoDonPachi Shooting goodness!

The player is going to have to dodge bullets and more bullets and MORE bullets.  You can cancel the bullets in different ways and sometimes you’ll just get dodge them out of sheer luck.  All this done with a touch screen.  Before you run away and call me a loon, keep reading.  The touch controls actually work.  These games are very playable and in some instances bullets slow down to help you dodge them.  Both games have their devices.  In ESPGaluda II you have the bullet-time effect which helps slow down the bullets and cancel them to make certain stretches easier and rack up points.  While DoDonPachi uses super canons to cancel bullets and a nifty chaining system for scoring.

Bullets, Bullets, and more Bullets. Courtesy of Cave and ESPGaluda II.

I’m not going to get into anymore gameplay details, but I’m telling you, these games are the creme of the crop.  Excellent presentation, excellent music, and easy to play (especially with auto-bomb).  The price might be a deterrent to non-fans so thankfully Cave offers a free demo for ESPGaluda II that you should definitely check out, nothing for DoDonpachi yet.  The games might seem pricey but when you’re the best company making games in a niche genre, you have price accordingly.

Twenty Dollars Later …

So my wallet is a bit lighter, my bathroom breaks are a bit longer, and find myself nearly missing my stops on the subway, but overall I haven’t had this much fun gaming in a long time.  These games aren’t perfect.  PvZ is a bit on the easy side, while the two shmups can be a little bit too much for the non-seasoned player.  But I can look past all that because I can game anywhere!  Sometimes for 5 minutes at a time, sometimes for less.  Doctor’s offices, subway rides, waiting in line at the local coffee shop, etc.  Nothing can stop me … except the battery life of my phone.  Luckily the iPhone 4 lasts longer than the 3G, but not as long as my Nokia.  But who uses these things to play games … I mean make calls anymore?

Happy gaming.

Another day in the 2-1-3

I think this is a great idea.  Make a Wikipedia entry entertaining and informative.  I know it could backfire, especially with the millions of wannabe comedians that live on the internet, but in this case it worked out great.  It’s basically a breatkdown of the lyrics to Warren G’s top 100 hit, “Regulate,” from 1994.  I’m going to repost it here after the jump in case it gets taken off.

Synopsis

On a cool, clear night (typical to Southern California) Warren G travels through his neighborhood, searching for women with whom he might initiate sexual intercourse. He has chosen to engage in this pursuit alone.^[6]

Nate Dogg, having just arrived in the east side of Long Beach, seeks Warren. On his way to find Warren, Nate passes a car full of women who are excited to see him. Regardless, he insists to the women that there is no cause for excitement.

Warren makes a left turn at 21st Street and Lewis Ave, in the East Hill/Salt Lake neighborhood^[7], where he sees a group of young men enjoying a game of dice together. He parks his car and greets them. He is excited to find people to play with, but to his chagrin, he discovers they intend to relieve him of his material possessions. Once the hopeful robbers reveal their firearms, Warren realizes he is in a less than favorable predicament.

Meanwhile, Nate passes the women, as they are low on his list of priorities. His primary concern is locating Warren. After curtly casting away thestrumpets (whose interest in Nate was such that they crashed their automobile), he serendipitously stumbles upon his friend, Warren G, being held up by the young miscreants.

Warren, unaware that Nate is surreptitiously observing the scene unfold, is in disbelief that he is being robbed. The perpetrators have taken jewelry and a Rolex Watch from Warren, who is so incredulous that he asks what else the robbers intend to steal. This is most likely a rhetorical question.

Observing these unfortunate proceedings, Nate realizes that he may have to use his firearm to deliver his friend from harm.

The tension crescendos as the robbers point their guns to Warren’s head. Warren senses the gravity of his situation. He cannot believe the events unfolding could happen in his own neighborhood. As he imagines himself making a fantastical escape, he catches a glimpse of his friend, Nate.

Nate has seventeen cartridges (sixteen residing in the pistol’s magazine, with a solitary round placed in the chamber and ready to be fired) to expend on the group of robbers. Afterward, hegenerously shares the credit for neutralizing the situation with Warren, though it is clear that Nate did all of the difficult work. Putting congratulations aside, Nate quickly reminds himself that he has committed multiple homicides to save Warren before letting his friend know that there are females nearby if he wishes to fornicate with them.

Warren recalls that it was the promise of copulation that coaxed him away from his previous activities, and is thankful that Nate knows a way to satisfy these urges. Nate quickly finds the women who earlier crashed their car on Nate’s account. He remarks to one that he is fond of her physical appeal. The woman, impressed by Nate’s singing ability, asks that he and Warren allow her and her friends to share transportation. Soon, both friends are driving with automobiles full of women to the East Side Motel, presumably to consummate their flirtation in an orgy.

The third verse is more expository, with Warren and Nate explaining their G Funk musical style. Warren displays his bravado by daring anyone to approach the style. There follows a brief discussion of the genre’s musicological features, with special care taken to point out that in said milieu the rhythm is not in fact the rhythm, as one might assume, but actually the bass. Similarly the bass serves a purpose closer to that which the treble would in more traditional musical forms. Nate displays his bravado by claiming that individuals with equivalent knowledge could not even attempt to approach his level of lyrical mastery. Nate goes on to note that if any third party smokes as he does, they would find themselves in a state of intoxication almost daily (from Nate’s other works, it can be inferred that the substance referenced is marijuana^[8]). Nate concludes his delineation of the night by issuing a threat to “busters,” suggesting that he and Warren will further “regulate” any potential incidents in the future (presumably by engaging their antagonists with small arms fire).

It’s not really spam or trashing, it’s educational and it’s loaded with links to other Wikipedia articles, which can encourage the reader to spend hours surfing Wikipedia soaking in information.  It reminds me of the famous translated rap battle that made the rounds on YouTube a couple of years ago:

Anyway, I’m busy trying to get a job and I’ll try to stick to a 3 post a week schedule.  Take care.

I’ve never been a person to adopt something early in a products lifecycle.  It always seems like the first version of any product is a beta, especially in this day and age where companies are pressured to release a new update every year.  Look at the first people to purchase the iPhone.  While it was beautiful, it had many things that were improved or changed in the next iteration, mainly the change from a 2G network to a 3G network, but also, they dumped the aluminum backing because they found out that it lead to poor reception compared with the plastic backing of the 3G to the current lineups.

The first Nintendo DS was also horrific.  It wasn’t even designed to close uniformly.  The screens touched each other (causing peebles to scratch it), it was hideously big, and the brightness was almost unbearable.  Again, this was fixed to a great extent on the subsequent release of the DS Lite, where brightness, a uniform clamshell design, and battery life were all adressed.  Nintendo is especially guilty of unleashing beta handheld products in their first iteration.  I’m not sure I have the willpower to wait it out for  the second iteration of their forthcoming 3DS handheld.  It looks freaking sweet.  I’m even going to assume that the news of it caught Sony by surprise so they in turn decided to hold off on the assumed PSP2 announcement at this past e3.

The reason why I’m discussing this topic in the first place is because I’m probably going to order a Kindle 3 here soon.  The price point ($189 with free 3G), present library, battery life, and overall performance of the product made it well worth the wait.  I never thought about buying it because of the price and also because I wasn’t sure it was going to take off, but when you’re patient, you see how well it performs in the marketplace, the support it has garnered, and also the surprise they can offer such a superior product at a great price point made it worth it.

Sometimes when something new hits the marketplace, I find it hard to resist purchasing it and I may resort to some extreme measures: pawning stuff on ebay/craigslist, cutting corners (fast food, cheap beer, reusing toothpaste … I kid), etc.  Now, I tread with more caution.  It seems like companies now need 2 to 3 generations to get it “right” these days (I’m looking at you Apple and Google.)  It’s like with the forthcoming 3DS I have to question myself, “Do I want to be a beta tester or reap the rewards a year or two from now?”